10 Things That I Worry About
Firstly, Mum guilt is definitely real… and it’s never felt realer than now…
As I write this post, I am a day away from returning to work after ten incredible months on maternity leave. I say returning to work, but in actual fact I’ll only be going in for two days before school shuts for the six week Summer break (#teachermum). Nonetheless, I am still feeling all the feels and working myself into an anxious state of a mess.
I keep asking myself these questions, and more:
- Will I actually cope as a working Mum of two?
- Will my baby be OK at nursery?
- What if she hates it?
- What if I hate it?
- How long will she cry for when I leave her?
- Will the staff know how to settle her?
- What if they forget her favourite song? (The only song she will fall asleep to)
- Am I a bad parent?
- Will she remember this?
- Will these feelings ever go away?
To be completely honest with you, it hurts.
Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely love my job. I love it so much that my Husband often complains that the living room looks like a classroom!! Teaching is my passion. But when you’ve spent the past 294 days with the most gorgeous, cuddly, sweet little baby- a real little person that you formed inside of you, the thought of being apart from them is heartbreaking.
I know that it will be hard. At times it might even feel unbearable. But I also know (or shall I say, hope) that like everything in life, these feelings will pass.
I’m sure that one day soon this cloud will disperse. It might rain first, but our sunny days are coming.
She will be OK.
I will be OK.
We will be OK.
I know I’m not the first Mum to have these feelings; and I definitely won’t be the last. And that is the point I want to make. If you’re a Mum who has felt this way before then I’d love to hear from you. What helped you get through it?
Let me know in the comments below ⬇️
I felt same when I went back to work after my second child. He would cry and hold on to me when I tried to hand him to the childminder and it was heartbreaking for me. Everyone kept on saying that he’d get use to it but it was so painful for me I was seriously considering giving up my job until he got older. But I was fortunate my mum felt my pain and came over from Jamaica and looked after him for a year until he was able to go to nursery. God bless her. It’s hard for mother’s to hand over their bundles of joy to strangers and go about their day. But don’t feel guilty, as most children adapt quickly and she will be in good hands until your return.
I love your blog, your site looks clean and is easy to navigate. Well done Sharna 👍🏾
Thanks so much for sharing, Cleo. It can be so hard letting go and putting your trust in others to care for your child as they would their own. I thought it was heartbreaking the first time round, but the build up the second time round has been so so hard. But like you said, babies/children are much more adaptable than us adults!
Thanks for your kind comments, and I’m glad you like the blog 🙂 xx